As many of us sit down for our Thanksgiving meal let us give thanks for all that has been good to us over the past year and also to take a moment to consider several honorific geek traditions commonly observed during the course of this day:
Thou shall not watch sports. At no point will anyone watch anything even remotely resembling sports on the television. Football? What’s that? Don’t even consider it and if someone tells you to change the channel from your X-Files marathon just bid them a fond farewell and show them the door!
Thou shall proceed with the ritual drying out of the turkey. Just because you paid over $1 per pound doesn’t mean you can’t dry it out just like Mom used to do with the $0.29 cent version. For added effect, use additional additives in your stuffing such as coffee grinds or the dust you find at the bottom of the cheezit’s box.
Thou shall forget to call anyone. We already know you need to level up so you can get your “epic”. You don’t need to call and tell us about it, we won’t care since we too are spending our day questing (how do you think we dry out the turkey!) for that elusive rare drop which requires you to kill the same mob 200 times or more.
Thou shall play Quake at least once. It’s DM6 or bust and you know you’re the best so have at it, just don’t lord it too much over any guests lest they whine like babies about how you are camping the rocket launcher (you would never do that….)
Thou shall complain about Star Wars Episode I at least once. Sure we waited almost a generation for that movie but what’s not to love? Plenty, and now is the time to air it all out while everyone can’t escape from the clutches of your lack of faith in George Lucas and your hate of all things Jar Jar.
So there you have it, some traditional Thanksgiving day activities for geeks. Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!